Winter Complaint

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Now when I have a cold
I am careful with my cold,
I consult a physician
And I do as I am told.
I muffle up my torso
In woolly woolly garb,
And I quaff great flagons
Of sodium bicarb.
I munch on aspirin,
I lunch on water,
And I wouldn’t dream of osculating
Anybody’s daughter,
And to anybody’s son
I wouldn’t say howdy,
For I am a sufferer
Magna cum laude.
I don’t like germs,
But I’ll keep the germs I’ve got.
Will I take a chance of spreading them?
Definitely not.
I sneeze out the window
And I cough up the flue,
And I live like a hermit
Till the germs get through.
And because I’m considerate,
Because I’m wary,
I am treated by my friends
Like Typhoid Mary.

Now when you have a cold
You are careless with your cold,
You are cocky as a gangster
Who has just been paroled.
You ignore your physician,
You eat steaks and oxtails,
You stuff yourself with starches,
You drink lots of cocktails,
And you claim that gargling
Is a time of waste,
And you won’t take soda
For you don’t like the taste,
And you prowl around parties
Full of selfish bliss,
And greet your hostess
With a genial kiss.
You convert yourself
Into a deadly missle,
You exhale Hello’s
Like a steamboat wistle.
You sneeze in the subway
And you cough at dances,
And let everybody else
Take their own good chances.
You’re a bronchial boor,
A bacterial blighter,
And you get more invitations
Than a gossip writer.

Yes, your throat is froggy,
And your eyes are swimmy,
And you hand is clammy,
And you nose is brimmy,
But you woo my girls
And their hearts you jimmy
While I sit here
With the cold you gimmy.

thank you, Ogden Nash, with many smiles

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8 thoughts on “Winter Complaint

    • Hi, Nia. Looking forward to our two week Christmas break so I can catch up a bit with life. It is a very warm winter so far. I dream of seeing Turkey! See what you have done to me? 🙂

      • I am so glad to hear you dear Dave, how would be so nice if you travel to my country or my city 🙂 Have a nice day and also have a nice Christmas Time, Thank you, love, nia

        • Well, I have written a little poetry when the mood strikes me, but I am no poet, that is for sure. Nash is a tonic for what ails you. Thanks so much for stopping by. This is a busy time as we are wrapping up school for the year, but I will try to stop by your website soon.

          • Hey Dave, thanks for getting back at me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a website no more. Need to start taking more pics and eventually set up a site. Tool lazy, you see lol

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